Monkey Girl.

I just started reading this book earlier today called Monkey Girl in which the author is presumably going to document the inane divide on evolutionary theory in the US. However, I didn't make it past the prologue (describing the lead-up to the dubious Dover, PA trial a few years ago about teaching intelligent design in classrooms) when I came across this little gem of a quote:

"This country wasn't founded on Muslim beliefs or evolution... This country was founded on Christianity and our students should be taught as such."

Ahem.
This was said by a school board member in Dover... in America... in the 21st century. Stemming from the irrational belief that there is an equally viable alternative to teaching evolution. Fact: all the gaps of evolutionary theory aren't filled in yet, but those gaps require a hell of a lot smaller of a jump than the running-head-start-probably-need-wings-to-get-across-that-chasm leap of faith that Christianity does.

It's also sadly humorous that Muslim "beliefs" are relegated to the same bin as something that is scientific fact when clearly it's another religion... just like Christianity, based on a great big parcel of certainties from centuries-old documents and word-of-mouth. I don't take offense to this solely because evolution is fact and religion is faith, I simply argue against the belief that because Christianity is "right" and any other religion is "wrong," it simply gets tossed into the realm of science fiction in this country(Islam, Buddhism, Scientology... oh wait).

A second quote states that "evolution leads to atheism." Sure it does, but might burning witches at the stake and going to hell for masturbating do that too?

The polls that keep claiming only 1/3 of America believes in evolution while a staggering 1/2 belief in creationism are flung about at educational institutions, political debates, and places of worship (with terror or pride, depending on the place). However, I realized that it's not as easy as saying "Well clearly you're an idiot if you think you've come from monkeys." Clearly, you are as you've never picked up a book or paid attention in 10th grade biology. However, you've got to be able to back it up with fact. And I noted the other day that being at a lovely liberal university for the past few years, while charming and perfectly elite, has sorely injured my ability to debate and not just criticize. I think the only time the phrase "intelligent design" came up was when one evolution teacher made a joke about "those ID people" and everyone (yes every single one of the 300 people in lecture) laughed. While at the time it formed a nice sense of camaraderie, it now worries me that those of us that do know the facts aren't doing enough to present them to people who are less certain and more malleable... particularly in a year when being a firm Christian or not might affect your presidential vote.

My better half suggested that perhaps it was a good thing that I hadn't had to debate my favorite topic in recent years, that perhaps it's a sign of progress... and B., I love you, but we both know that that is simply a sad untruth. Maybe next there will be a mandatory moment of prayer after the morning bell or Bible passages read out loud on NPR, who knows, we might get lucky.

Cryptivity to the max.

I am, as N. would say, huuuungry... but probably not quite in the same way.

Suggestions welcome, I vote SA.

Without going into any detail, this area is old and has "been done." The people don't have original thoughts and are generally (and yes I am generalizing, I feel you can do that after living somewhere for a significant amount of years) weary. Ie: try my patience and hope for human evolution.

Let's pick a random country to travel to, shall we? And... go.

I only just recently fell in love with the Brits.

Download (yes, pay the $6.95, oh the insanity) the Ricky Gervais Show podcast. It is, in a word, fabulous. I can't say enough lovely things. It is informative, witty, ridiculous, and above all... they use the expression "absolute bollocks" frequently. Also, the word "evolution" is pronounced "ee-volution" which just sounds so much more intelligent.

"The spectacle was stopped 12 minutes in when 28 out of the 42 midgets were proclaimed dead." Who can possibly say this and get away with it?

YES.

Never tell someone with a weapon that you attended college.

Ahh, the joys of having a bullshit job where I can read for approximately 68% of my day.

1. When You Are Engulfed in Flames: the latest collection of cleverness by David Sedaris.

Well obviously I recommend reading each and every one of his books, but this was definitely one of the better ones. I particularly enjoyed the random thought-provoking questions ("What was Jesus like as a teenager?" and "Why do you never see a baby squirrel?") scattered throughout the book but it's his twisted fascination with the morbid and macabre that I truly connect with. A section with the description of a Japanese hotel room and the simple instructions to follow in dire situations (hence the title). My favorite chapter, however, was how to play down your education after attending an Ivy-league school ("Who? Me? Princeton's not even that hard to get into"). And now I want a baby skeleton for my very own.

2. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close: My first book by Jonathan Safran Foer, recommended by a friend with exceptional reading taste. Utterly loved it, loved everything about it. I think this is the first thing I've read that mentions (and even somewhat centers around) September 11th that I didn't find trite or boring. I like books that are interspersed with letters or random images that make you feel like you're part of the narrator's life.

3. Snuff by Chuck Palahniuk. Completely disappointed, not only with the fanatically large print and severely lacking 150 pages (that is a novella in my opinion, not a book) but the story was... silly. Usually I find his random twistedness charming but I was just bored. A porn star sets out to make a record-breaking movie where she gang-bangs 600 guys... one of whom just might be her son? Chuck, my dear, I think you lost me at Survivor.

One final question, why oh why was Love in the Time of Cholera (the film) made in English??

More cult craziness, in the form of fish suicide.

First off, let me start by saying that I do not in any way consider myself a "girly girl." Granted I would wear 4" stillettos and wads of black eyeliner every day if possible, but given the opportunity I would also watch an open-heart surgery without batting an eye (eff, I'd perform one given the time and proper education). I get sickly excited when one of our pets needs a minor procedure performed where I get to wear surgical gloves (preferably the purple variety). However, what greeted me this morning actually had me close to retching.

Let's say that I was in a position to come to work this morning and discover 7 dead koi (lovely Japanese fishes that everyone instinctively falls in love with and usually names [note: this is idiotic as we shall see, FISH DIE EASILY]). Said kamikaze fish had been out of water for approximately 6-97 hours based on their state of decomposition. What led me to them was a 3-foot long trail of fly larva (maggots, for you intellectually challenged) and the absolutely overpowering smell of evil. I would say in total, there were about 83 million now teeming on the floor. My first thought, well, run for my life coupled with an intense disgusting fascination. Let me also add that I have had a 102-degree fever/flu for the last 3 days and had nothing in my stomach but some Tylenol cold/flu.

I went to find some sort of cleaner (preferably of the bleach variety) as I figured I could at least help out by standing at a safe distance and toxically blasting the little guys. I was vastly disappointed when all that we had was "Sun and Earth All Purpose Cleaner." Now normally I would be very proud of my dad for buying such an earth-friendly product. However, when trying to kill/maim/torture thousands of tiny creepy crawlies, the words "Safe to use around children and pets too!" do not bring any inkling of comfort. Sigh. Anyway, problem solved (note: not by my hands but by someone with a far stronger constitution than I while I stood outside in the fresh air, every now and then peering around the corner to appear helpful but mainly thanking fictional Jesus that I was born at the top of the food chain).

Girls like this make me want to move out of the country.

This article was posted on cnn.com this morning:
TEEN GIRLS REPORTEDLY MAKE PREGNANCY PACT
"GLOUCESTER, Massachusetts (AP) -- A pact made by a group of teens to get pregnant and raise their babies together is at least partly behind a sudden spike in pregnancies at Gloucester High School, school officials said.
Principal Joseph Sullivan told Time magazine in a story published Wednesday that the girls confessed to making the pact after the school began investigating a rise in pregnancies that has left 17 girls at the school carrying a child. Normally, there are about four pregnancies a year at the school.
Sullivan told Time that nearly half of the expecting students, none over 16, were involved. Sullivan said students were coming to the school clinic multiple times to get pregnancy tests, and "seemed more upset when they weren't pregnant than when they were."
Some of the girls reacted to the news they were pregnant with high fives and plans for baby showers, Sullivan said. One of the fathers "is a 24-year-old homeless guy," Sullivan told the magazine.
Superintendent Christopher Farmer confirmed the deal to WBZ-TV, saying the girls had "an agreement to get pregnant."
He said the girls are generally "girls who lack self-esteem and have a lack of love in their life."
The first reports of the students' apparent plan to get pregnant were in the Gloucester Daily Times in March, when Sullivan said students were reporting that the girls were getting pregnant on purpose.
The rash of pregnancies has shaken the seaside city about 30 miles north of Boston. Last month, two officials at the high school health center resigned to protest the resistance from the local hospital to the confidential distribution of contraceptives. The hospital administers the state money that funds the clinic."

I [almost] have no words for how idiotic these children [all under the age of 16??] are. You are proliferating every stereotype about ignorant teenage American girls and adding offspring to the world population, that frankly, does not need more of you. If anything speaks for natural selection, it is people like this. End rant.

Things that I've recently (and not so recently) fallen in love with.

I have far too much time to read and spend money on unnecessary products now that school is over! I forget every year but my university is 84,000 times more amazing in the summer.

1. The book Submarine by Joe Dunthorne. New author to me but incredibly witty and fun. Sarcasm and inanity always win me over. An added bonus: he likes to amp-up your vocab, starting off each chapter with a new word and incorporating the definition in... somehow. (Example: apothegm- a blunt remark, conveying some important truth). Also, as it takes place in Wales, there are people with names like Arwen, Chips, and Rhian.2. Mochi ice cream in all forms. If you're Asian or know anyone even remotely Asian, you've probably already had mochi ice cream. BUT WAIT! This week I (we) discovered 2 new varieties that make me love that little continent even more.

• Mini mochi's: indvidually wrapped, about the size of a Ferro Rocher, delightful! Came in green tea, vanilla, and "pink" flavors... which I can only assume is red bean.
  
• Mochi ice cream TO GO: Comes with 2 good-sized ice-cream balls (that actually, do in fact look like testicles when left in the car for too long) and a teensy tiny spoon/fork/chopstick to eat them with. While the utensil is in no way helpful, they are also, delicious.

3. Films by Pedro Almodovar. Not new in my life but I was reminded how much I love his films while watching Todo sobre mi madre. I love fairly everything this man produces but my favorite has been La mala educacion so far. Note: don't watch unless you are comfortable with death and transvestites and can handle reading subtitles if you don't speak Spanish. This is the original cover, not the lame version (despite Gael's face gracing the cover) that came out in America.
[Additional side note: while trying to take Todo sobre mi madre out of the library, I was given a comically condescending lecture on the use of a "VHS tape" and was told (reminded?) that it would not, in fact, work in a dvd player. Thank you $80,000 education].